Thursday, October 3, 2013

Pakka Indian hai!

Talking about India, ‘Unity in diversity’ is probably the most lovable and adaptable phrase when it comes to define it in the shortest way possible. With more than a billion natives residing in 29 states and 7 Union Territories, the unity is indeed a massive task to maintain. Ask me a week back, I would have given the credits to our Hindi Gaalis (Abusive Language) to maintain the same but lately I get to know about one more thing, a thing which depicts who we are, a thing which hold us together from ages, a thing which we are famous for in the West, a thing which we follow blindfolded…

‘Our Irrational Behaviour’

Talking about us, we Indians, undoubtedly are the most ‘intelligently-skilled labors' in the world, surveys have said so. For me an Indian is the one who is born to do outsourced jobs. Unfortunately we are famous for our not-so-cool-famous behaviour. Some enjoy it, while some curse it, some nag about it and some of them write about it.

Indians love:

1. Cursing their own government: People love doing this. Your stray bitch gives birth to 6 puppies, blame government. Your flame dumped you, blame government. Your spouse gave birth to a baby girl, blame government. You are unable to go to Europe on a 10 day vacation, blame government. It’s an easy way out to get over with your short term misery and make your inner self feel all relax. Cursing your government is a good thing; ‘Constantly Cursing’ your government is a psychotic thing.

 2. Bragging their mortified real life, virtually: This one is classic, people putting up status, mourning the death of their beloved ones and Alas! Their friends liked the status!  People treat social networking sites more of their spouse, they whine on it, nag on it, share moronic views, and upload ugly pictures. To get what? Likes and Comments? I know guys who can get you 500 likes in just 0.50$

3. Enrolling kids into IIT/IIM: We subconsciously believe IIT/IIM is the ultimate redemption, ‘Mera beta 9th se FITZEE join karega fir 12th mein 98 aggregate lane ke baad  IIT crack karega,  uske baad CAT mein 99.9 percentile lake IIM A se 40lac/annum ki placement leke kisi IAS ki ek lauti Doctor ladki se byaah karega aur US settle ho jaega’

4. Staring: No matter what age, no matter how you look our eyes don’t discriminate women. Be it in public transport, in  restaurants, on the road, inside the car or auto, we love staring! I call it ‘The Great Indian Stare’ In a country like India, which lacks in creativity, which is quintessential for advertising to grab eye and balls, a woman is the best vertical to promote the product, because stares tend to triple if you’re both blond and attractive.

5.  Sex crazy Godmen: Follow a god is overrated; following god’s own mediators imported directly from heavens is IN nowadays. Ironically, they prey on their disciples, especially kids. Still, people love them! Why? Because they use their D**k to bestow their followers with beneficence.

6. Splurging millions on wedding: So that our zillions of in laws and millions of neighbors came with a bouquet and eat some of the best cuisines, chat-pakodi, golgappe with butterscotch ice-cream and shook their legs for some moments just to embarrass the couple and themselves.

7. Eat Drink and Breath Cricket: Period! If anyone says they watch cricket for nail-biting moments and thrills, run away from there, they are lying. In-fact they don’t really know why they watch it. FYI there are sports, more thrilling, more real and that too in a much lesser period than cricket. Bellator to be precise!

 8. ‘Tu janta nahi mein kaun hun..:
I always wonder whether, that is an eagerly asked question to get a funny reply or mere a test of someone’s general knowledge. Certainly the most quoted desi-one-liner of India, amusing us with the amount of humour it carries with itself.

9. Groin: When get bored; people do groin inspection, in full view of public, checking if it’s still there. Some are sophisticated they use pockets to make necessary adjustments. Please do try this only at home.

On the contrary, I don’t understand why girls put up their ugly-looking display picture on Facebook, especially when their boobies are peeking out from body hugging Tees. Just a random thought! 


  1. Guys like you is the reason of the shameful condition of our country
    Shit post

  2. Superb Post Kabir!
    Specially the last 'Observation' Lol

  3. While most of it could be true but its a very saddistic post. I would rather like to change things then complain like this. Because we Indians do complain a lot as well. Just a thought!

  4. I so love this post of yours.
    You can add some more things into it, but precisely written!
    Why 9 pointers? It could be a special reason


  5. Quite topical. I agree, our irrationality makes us stand out. Keep entertaining us. :)

  6. interesting points Kabir... though i wouldn't agree on sports point of view... there may be more thrilling, exciting, or blah blah sports.. but people feel thrilled for what they can connect to.. how many times we feel thrilled for Syria, Egypt or Israel... rarely.. as we are not much connected to them.. And besides how many other sports we observe here which can thrill us..

  7. Its not just our country men who keep cursing their government. All except Canada do I guess, rather know. Ha ha wedding thing is fun and well accepted by us. Hmm about staring... Problem is that you are not exposed to something since ages and are suddenly getting a full fledged exposure. Tendency to stare is a consequence of that sudden exposure. Ha ha this one is super cool "Tu janta nahi mein kaun hun.." :D ha ha to which the person being addressed should say,"tu kaunsa jaanta hai main kaun hu! Aa jaate hain kahin se bhi! Chal aage rasta pakad apna!" :D

  8. Your thoughts lol

  9. Entertaining...... enjoyable read

  10. pakka reality Sourabh.................

  11. sale.... i loved the end part :)

  12. The last one goes only for the typical attention craving kiddos! The other Points were legit though. :)