- you're patient enough to stand/sit continuously for an hour just to cover 2 miles.
- you're bold enough to hear ear bleeding abuses
- you wear any branded deo....
- you are used to G-talks in your home/ Office/ Gf/ Ex Gf/ Ex Ex Gf etc etc in short ..ladkiyoon ki kachar pachar
Now, if you're ready to start the journey of a lifetime, I'll introduce you to some interesting situations - How to invent a Gaali, How to make 1 or 2 hour friends, How to spit from the window without touching the glass pane... One can easily absorb some unique and latest trends too.......All You Need Is To Open your Eyes and your MIND...:P
- First step i.e. to enter into something is the most hardest thing (Dimag ke Ghode na Dauda)…So this self made phrase is 100 percent fit in case of BLB’s. If you’re trying to get into one, you can see a number of stuntmen hanging outside the bus may be from the swarm or may be from the SMELL…:P. Ab Gadhe Ka Baccha Marta Kya Na Karta, somehow Dhakka Mukki ke beech you successfully landed into another world with variety of people, smells, accents, complexions etc etc….
- If you’re lucky enough you’ll surely get a seat (Faujiyon ki dress vali cover seat jiske niche se Bhusa nikal raha hai Brown color ka). And I’am pretty sure you’ll be so happy because the warmth of the sun in Delhi’s winter season is more pleasurable than an orgasm, Trust me. But after 20 minutes of halla gulla and shor sharaba in the 15 x 8 machine you’ll be amazed that the bus stand still, only the man on the driving seat holding the giant steering wheel with a 502 Pataka Bidi in one hand and with the second hand on the gear keeps pressing the accelerator harder so that the already frustated people have some respite (vo kehte hai na Tadpa Tadpa Ke marna). Finally when your forehead becomes a lil wet you’ll hear the sound of “Tak-Tak-Tak”……
- Haaan to Tak Tak Tak Karne vale Hero hera Laal hai, the protagonist of one of the most costliest vehicles on Delhi road’s, Apne CONDUCTOR. Generally Tall, Dark and repulsive with lots of lottery like things (Tickets) in his one hand and “Chillars” (Coins) in the other. His multi-pocket white Cargos have something Uber KEWL written over the left bum, tightly tied at least 6 inches above his naval with an ornate buckled belt. (Meine Napa nahi hai jus random guess) with a nice Janpath’s Abercrombie & Fitch material tightly tuck into it. “Haan Bhaai Paache Tikaaaat Bolio…”. (Haryanvi accent). Do take out 10 bucks or whatever the journey costs and give it to him. He will then fold your 10 rupee karara note into rectangular shape( Like the way Log note ko shadiyon mein Udate hai Lamba karke) and put it into the huge bundle of notes……Tak-Tak-Tak ki to baat bhul hi gaye, this sound made by Conductor Bhaishab with a 5 rupee coin on the glass next to his seat, is the indication of conductor to driver to run the bus. The rate of tak tak is directly proportional to the speed of the bus….Remember..:p
- As your journey goes on you’ll experience many accents, a variety of jeans, a cache of latest chinese mobiles, some 80’s Kishore Kumar music running somewhere all mixed up with the sound of the engine and the shattering sound of windows and in between you’ll surely hear the word ISTAAAAFFF…….(A slang, generallyused by the self proclaimed BADMAASH and college students to make a free ride). And as the proverb says never miss an opportunity to learn something new, you’ll learn some coolest galiyaan ever for e.g. ***** ki ***nd mein **** ka **, ****** lele ****** ke , Muh Mein **** Mera **** …….So I mean you can learn variety of things…Now moving on to most interesting stuff..
- When it comes to girls, Delhiites never miss a chance and a place like a crowded bus in a traffic is like icing on the cake. Here the probability of touching or poking a girl by any random guy is directly proportional to the brakes made by the driver. and when I say a guy it means all the guys it doesn’t matter how smart, cute or educated he looks - he never misses an opportunity. Unfortunately we delhiites believe the famous quote “Opportunity knocks once in a lifetime”. Some give the excuse of heavy bags, some say Madam Picche se Dhakka aa raha hai Kya karu.., Some happily touch their legs with the girl’s, some use the defending instinct and Mauka lagte hi Hath se Hath touch, Pocket se Mobile Nikalte hue Ladki ki back touch, Haath mein Ghadi pehnkar bhi Cell Phone mein light jalakar time dekho..=))
- When you’re going to reach your stop, stand next to the driver and make eyecontact and say Bhaiyaa Rok ke Chalna….You say Rok ke Chalna, but he’ll never stop the bus untill or unless you’re a super hot chick or a Machoman…Interesting facts about Blue Line Buses:
1. The surname of the owner of almost every BLB is Tyagi or Singh
2. When a conductor tears your ticket in the middle, it means you owe him some rupees.
3. BLB’s are also known as the Killer blue line, claiming over 100 lives per year
4. In the month of May to July end, the average temperature in the cockpit is around 48 degree
5. Despite of the facility of world class Delhi Metro, BLB is still the main source of commuting in the city
6. And now in some days BLB’s will be a part of history as the Delhi Govt has decided to eradicate all of them..Adios.!