Monday, December 6, 2010

The “Spirutenment” (Spirituality + Entertainment)



A scene at a social gathering with thousands of people under one roof (Mostly married women with their teenage daughters) for an unknown purpose in a well known temple.

Lady 1: “Aaagayiii…” (Background score of some typical Hindi spiritual Bhajan along with the Temple bells ringing)
Lady 2: “ Haan, Mummy jee ne aaj Khana khaya nahi aur jaldi soo gai, bacche tution chale gaye aur aaj to “Bidaai” bhi nahi aaega to meine socha ghar mein akele bore hoke kya karungi yanhi aa jaati hun…” (Music continues…)
Lady 1: “Aacha hua tum aa gayi main bhi yahan bethe bethe bore ho rahi thi, vo deepti ki mummy toh ajkal Namaste bhi nahi karti jabse Mrs. Verma ki kitty party mein jaane lagi hai….”
Lady 2: “Dekha meine to pehle hi bola tha, pata hai uski beti abhi 10th mein hai aur saaaraaa din phone se chipki rehti hai, hamari bhi toh pinki hai (Pointing out her daughter, sitting next to her who is busy texting with a thumb without even looking at the cell screen)……..


After going through the above crap many of you might think that I am a Misogynist, well fortunately I’m not. If you already get the real essence of what exactly I’m trying to convey through this above Hindustani Aunty gossip then you’re ABNORMAL. (In a good way).  Well, I am talking about “Spirutenment”. I know it sounds bizarre but this self made word is getting on my nerves ever since I was 10 and attended one such gatherings with my “Pados vali aunty ji” .


So, before explaining the word “Spirutenment” I humbly request to everyone neither I want nor I have any intentions to hurt anyone feelings or sentiments (for time being though).

Every time I saw anyone go to a temple, Mosque or any other spiritual places or gatherings, I always asked myself “Do they honestly want to go a shrine to pray? Or is it just a façade in the name of god? A habit or a psychological mean to satisfy one’s mind ?”


I have seen so many people 6 baje Subeh Subeh, Nange Paer, formals mein, ek haath mein Lauta which is full of milk (when I say Milk, it sounds milk, it smell milk but it’s not milk 20 percent dhudh aur 80 percent Nalke ka Pani) literally running towards a nearby temple with an expressionless face (Maybe Biwi se ladaai hui ho)…
Ye Phuul maala kitne ki hai Chotey” (after investigating for 10 minutes among hundreds of same fuul Maalas)
“10 rupaye Babuji” (A shivering teenage Garland vendor sitting just in front of the temple walkway)
Roz yahin se 8 rupaye ki leta hun aaj seedhe 10 rupaye, Naya aaya hai kya” (His big fat Woodland wallet must be ashamed of the situation)

Well, he enters the premises of the temple and a sudden change takes place in his personality. He holds the Lauta swiftly with both the hands (Jaise Namaskar Karte hai) and then there is an outburst of fake decency in each and every move. Dhere Dhere Chalega with a cute smile on his face. He’ll firmly bend down and touch the rough entrance of the praying area before entering into it. (Maybe to show some respect to GOD)…but he’ll never forget to rub his hand on his trousers secretly. (Saala Naha kar aaye they Dove se, Haath Gande ho gaye)…and if unfortunately he happens to meet one of his friends, then the lamest question in the whole universe will be asked. “abbey tu yahan kya kar raha hai..?”,
 I wish someday koi chilla ke bole “chutiye ladkiyaaan dekhne aaya hun, subah subah Ladkiyaaan Baaal dho kar aati hai to SEXY lagti hai”…=)).

Well, his devotional side vanishes (Gadhe ke sarr se seeng ke maafik..) as He bows his head in front of so many gods and goddesses talking to his friend and same happens with the friend.
Vo laute ke bare mein to batana hi Bhul gaya…
Saare Bhagwan Ji ke age Natmastak hone ke baad he goes with the so called ‘Milk’ which is to be  poured on lord Shiva’s idol. Saalon dilli ki sardiyon mein 6 baje koi tum pe thanda paani ya dudh dale kaisa lagega!!
Then he starts chanting ‘Om Namah shivay’ softly and well loudly enough ki atleast, pass kahde padosiyon ko pata to chale ki ghar se chilaane aur galiyaan dene ki kitni bhi aawazey aati ho, magar mein ek saccha aur andar Dharmik purush hun..:p
After that he puts a Lamba vala tika on his Forehead and walks away with an overripe Banana (Prasad mein jo milta hai)
Coming.Outside the temple a small kid asks him for a rupee (I’m not sure vo ghutkha khaaega ya use jod ke raat ki roti khaega), but the guy will simply ignore him and continue eating that rotten Banana and will rush away with his mobile placed between the left ear and shoulder. Maybe its his boss yelling at him…

BUT

Does he go to the temple to really pay respect to the almighty? and what happens when he reaches the office ? Boss replaces the idols?

Through this, I do not mean to generalize and state that everyone is the same as this man but also I don’t feel ashamed while saying that most of the people are.

Stop Formality atleast for what you believe in(blind Faith rather) .

Whether it’s going to a temple, praying to your favorite GOD/ Goddesses, doing your work, making love to your girl, driving a high-end bike or even greeting someone…

Don’t do things forcibly just to complete them, Do things for your own pleasure…..;)

PS: I am a hardcore Atheist..:)

6 comments:

  1. Wow ! :-D Great work kabir! once again !
    There were some hilarious moments and also the kind of moments when im nodding and going all "truth truth truth!" in my head. :P
    See again the post is so well-detailed that i can actually imagine it.
    Coming to the topic *narrow eyes* THIS IS TRUE. 100% true. :)
    I'm so sure everyone reading this will be able to relate to it in some or the other way. As the doer or as the observer. In any case the point is conveyed and that too in such a raw manner!
    Lastly, keep writing JUST LIKE THIS because If it doesnt prick, it doesnt get famous :-D
    :-P


    cheaaars :-D

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  2. Bravo!! another piece from the great Kaby..well written..n yeah it seems so true to wat i went thru in my childhood wen i went to these gathering wid my Dadi..damn..i hate these place..
    the observations r so fine n well versed..
    nice work!!
    :) :D
    >:D<

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  3. sexy!!!man!!the work done with such a dexterity....excellent bro....

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  4. kabir, all people have their own perceptions, and school of thought. All believe in god and pay obeisance according to their feelings. Its not bad to be an atheist either, because everyone choses his/her life according to the pre-conceived thinking and if that makes him to enjoy ecstasies of life, then that's completely divine in every sense. the crux of the message is that whatever you do in your life, do it with complete commitment and not with half baked feeling or notions or any force. So i agree on your stance......nice work again!!!good blog......

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  5. good one.. and the real very true.. but i like the special touch by you at some places. great work.. keep going...

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  6. its reality.. gud1 yaar... gr8 work... :)

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