Hence Proved (Part 2)...:|

A piece of advice: Before going through this convo kindly click on the link  http://kayblogwala.blogspot.in/2012/03/hence-proved.html or else you’ll feel like watching Matrix Triology without Audio :D

Girl: Hey Honey! (in a very heart melting tone)

Boy:Yes my love, tell me.

Girl: whatcha doing?

Boy: nothing, just cleared another level of the new game I got.

Girl: aah of course.

Boy: so you done for the day?

Girl: naah, not yet got an hour more and then got some free time. For now got a while so thought of
speaking with you.

So, what did you do the entire day?

Boy: day started in the noon, and then did some of the usual stuff went out to get the new awesome
game CD and well spent the next hours playing it, more like killing it( happiness personified with the last
statement)

Girl: that’s a very “you” day. Didn’t you go out somewhere?

Boy: thought of, but then landed up doing what I told you.

Girl: I see!!

Boy: well also I wrote a new piece today.

Girl: you did? Good. Whats it about?

Boy: a telephonic conversation. A little about us, and a little made up (giggle)

Girl: telephonic aaye? Which one? And made up? Definitely. To make it appealing, you’d do that.

Boy: want me to read it out?

Girl:yes sure, go on!!(eagerness in her tone)

Boy: (spends next 15mins reading it out to her)

Girl: no shit, so you think I am a nagging girlfriend? Is it now?

Boy: (silent) no baby, I don’t. ok you know what I am going to delete it. (clicking sound)

Girl: no no no no, I was just pulling your leg. Its fine. Don’t delete it.

Boy: too late now. I already did so.

Girl: oh I know you, you just saying so. You wouldn’t delete your writing. Anyway if you did. Just recover

it back. Now.

Boy: no no I am serious I did delete it. Its gone now. Shift+Del.

Girl: crap. U are nuts. You know I was just kidding.

Boy: I didn’t want to make any point out of that writing, it was just for a gag. Nothing more. I didn’t
mean to offend or upset you Honey.

Girl: of course I know that baby. Is there no way you can recover it back? (really feeling sorry)

Boy: aah, well I think I didn’t blow it completely. I just got it again.

Girl: see, moron. I knew you wouldn’t. just some extra drama, and you write about me being dramatic.
Hmph!!

Boy: oh no, I did delete it. But I checked the recycle bin and apparently I didn’t press Shift+Del, it was
just with the mouse, I deleted. I usually shift delete everything. But since I am talking so got mobile in
one hand and mouse in another. So just the basic delete process I did.

Girl:yeah fine. You know what?

Boy:what?

Girl: I am going to reply to your writing with another writing by me.

Boy: are you? Like a continual conversation?

Girl: correct.

Boy: and what are you going to write about? On how pathetic and sloppy of a boyfriend I am? Right?

Girl: true that, but no I will write about this conversation. The one we are having now. This very
conversation. ( a big teeth showing smile)

Boy: oh no, you wont!

Girl: why not?

Boy: err. Well ok go ahead write it up.

Girl: muaah. And then you can post it in your blog.com. (seemingly happy)

Boy: yes sure, I will. And then I will write a reply to that one, and then you write a reply to that one and
then we shall be the ones who create this awesome internet-telephonic –chat-massacre !! (sounds like a
three year old kid)

Girl: Geez! Ok if you say so.

Now you see, how the nature of a guy can change over just a matter of a single conversation.

Doesn’t matter how strong, how much of a stud, how buffy the guy may be. There is always this one
side of him which we woman always, ALWAYS get it out of them. But sometime the guys forget that its
only cuz of that one woman in their life they let loose of themselves and their feelings. Which definitely
doesn’t make them gay or a puss, but instead makes them loved and cared more.

I believe its ok for a man to let loose of his feelings. And a lot of you women out there will agree on that.
And so will you misters.

PS: this conversation is not at all made up, its how loveable he is!!


The Writer is a Photographer !

 

By: Aarti Pekette 

Probable answers of unanswerable questions !

Women can't help being Inquisitive, they are born with this annoying trait, at-least most of the men think so. But you can't deny the fact; it is a man who evokes a certain degree of curiosity among women.  However unanswerable their questions may be, interestingly you can find a similarity in the kind of questions women usually ask men. I always wonder how can it be possible? Imagine a huge server of women brain, attached with each other, exchanging similar data with the speed of light in Terabytes each second, sounds like Skynet. Read the article further to know the repetitive questions and their probable ANSWERS..!!

Question 1: Why are you always think about "Sex" not emotions?

Probable Answer: Well that's a tricky one, but a time to confess some things, and I know most of the guys reading this would agree with me. Like women are blessed with motherhood, we men are cursed read BLESSED with an unusual drive towards sex. We just can’t help it, it’s by default, and I think we are more lenient to our testosterone level. Talking about emotions thing, Yes, we do have plenty of emotions, we feel hungry you see....

Question 2: Why are you not expressive enough to speak your heart out?

Probable Answer: Before I speak my heart out, I too have a question,” Why is it so essential for women?” means it is our mistake that we are born in a male clan without having excessive emotions, just because your hormones gets you weepy all the time you except us to behave in the same way. Ok, the thing is we take time, situation and place to share and to talk what is occupying our mind. One more thing stop comparing a MAN with your heaps of Metrosexual male species, it leads to severe trauma....See, who says we are not expressive....

Question 3: Why you keep getting angry/abuse in traffic?

Probable Answer: This question doesn’t need any explanation, not because it’s evident, but i don’t want to write an Epic..!. Bikers left side overtake, turtle speed on highways, unwanted honking, topsy-turvy auto rickshaw, raging trucks and a vehicle with a women driver, what else one could want to experience one bad road day. Just look through a broader vision, how many idiotic reckless people are driving freely on the roads, even the super chilling AC in your car won’t help you  cool your temper. We know the abuse is limited to us only, but what to do, it’s the only way to vent your frustration out. We don’t want our beloved ones to suffer our wrath. Got it, you better do. Move to the next...

 Question 4: What do you tell your friends about me?

Probable Answer: Nothing is the word. This is the new girlfriend type question which I don’t know how to tackle, if you tell everything about your woman which include some pre defined adjective like beautiful, one of a kind, humble, down to earth, kind, lovely, sweet, smart, intelligent, caring, adorable, stunning, head turner, gorgeous mmmm....let me take out my dictionary, she thinks that she’s nothing just an arm candy and if you don’t talk about her, she thinks that you are sceptical in the relationship, she is bound to accuse of you of not being sure about her. So my lovely ladies we need a perfect timing to puke about you. We can also give you the freedom to tell us what they want us to talk about with their pals.

Question 5: Why don’t you compliment me for my hair?

Probable Answer: This one actually creep us out. But still the answer is there are many more things to compliment her about, why do we waste our time on complimenting a thing which usually remains the same? New colourful streaks, shinning and bouncing hair, end of split-ends, fringes, seriously? It’s seems eye feasting in TVCs only (Television Commercials) with multiple effects of light, camera and graphics, same goes for your mascara, eyebrows and nail paints. We generally tend to give compliments when you are YOU, not one Diva, so stop expecting compliments on such mundane things. You yourself are much beyond than your makeup box.

  

Conclusion: The questions are inherited; you can’t actually evade but simply tackle them. ;)

Hence Proved...:|

*A Telephonic Convo*


Girl: Hey Baby (With a cute, heart melting tone)

Guy: Yeah..



Girl: Where are you?

Guy: Mount Olympus in Athens, Slaughtering Zeus Immortals…..(sloppily )



Girl: What What What…?

Guy: Playing Video Game, forgot its 12 in the night…



Girl: Stop being sarcastic OK..

Guy: Me, Sarcastic. Why would I be sarcastic…(Confused)



Girl: I don’t know, ask yourself

Guy: But I told you what I am doing…





Girl: You wouldn’t understand, chuck it..

Guy: Then make me understand honey…



Girl: Please, don’t pretend to be one romantic caring and concerned

guy. I no longer feel the same closeness in your tone.

Guy: May be because I am sitting some 20,000 Kms away from you….(Smiling)



Girl: You are being sarcastic again

Guy: Alright, I wouldn’t be sarcastic again…Swear on my PS3 (Finger Crossed)



Girl: *Again* that means you were sarcastic earlier too, I can sense
negative vibes from your side…

Guy: Now, what makes you sense these VIBES…



Girl: My heart says so…

 Guy: You didn’t tell me that you are in talking terms with your
heart. How often? (Laughing)



Girl:  See, here you go again. Shove your sarcasm up your a**

Guy: Ok fine relax, I wouldn’t throw sarcasm….swear on my BIKE (Finger Crossed again)



Girl: Oh good lord, now don’t raise your voice, I am telling you

Guy: Did I, did I.

Girl: Now you are, why are you yelling

Guy: Because you are getting intolerable…(Frustrated)





Girl: I knew this was coming, you aren’t same anymore. You have changed

Guy: How can a fucking guy change overnight…(Grinning)



Girl: Speak like a sensible human being first and dare you raise your voice…

Guy: My love, My Princess. I am not raising my voice…(high picthed)

Girl: You don`t have to say that so loudly. I am not deaf

Guy: Neither Dumb…(Fuck Yea)



Girl: I heard what you just said….

Guy: Please, I beg you. Beg you for my life. What do you want (Crying)



Girl: Just be yourself, Baby

Guy: I am being myself for the past 10 minutes (Sighing)

Girl:  No, earlier you never would argue with me..

Guy: I am not arguing…



Girl: Shut up. I don’t know why I feel like that you want to dump me…

Guy: Dump you? Holy shit…Where did this shit come from…(Frowning)



Girl: Yes, that’s what you want to do. I know, you have a fetish for

single girls…

Guy: Alright, how can you be so sure about it..(Straight face)





Girl: I don’t know, I just know..

Guy: How can you know, when you don’t know…(Straight face, Grinning)



Girl: I don’t know. Stop pissing me off

Guy: Sorry, what should I do now…(Helpless)



Girl: Nothing, just keep loving me & stay away from your distracting
Video Game..

Guy: OK….Didn’t you say it a little earlier…(Poker Face)

Girl: No, I like drama. Today I had a craving to tease the shit out of you…

Guy: Means it was Pre planned….(Rage face)



Girl: Yes..!

Guy: *Emotionally* you wasted 30 minutes, spent US$ 10 and made me

feel like “Why I am living on this planet, what I am, Why I am here”
for your BULLSHIT, IDIOTIC CRAVING…… Why, please tell me why..



Girl: Because I Love you, I knew you wouldn’t get mad at me.

Guy: Really, how much do you love me? (Smartly)



Girl: How much do you think…

Guy: Well, a lot of course. I know you wouldn’t kick me if I commit
the greatest sin in this whole universe..(Secret Smile)



Girl: Exactly, my love

Guy: & I know it too that your love will be intact if I tell you that

throughout our conversation I played Video Game….(Trolol)

Girl: You Shit face.  Bye. Dare you call me ever…

*She disconnected the phone*

As much as you enjoyed reading this mindless, senseless, aimless
conversation, I so hated being a part of this…..(Though I secretly
cherished the tit bits)

But the reason being I type this out here is to tell you one thing.

Beware of Women; they can over shadow even the most brain storming
problems of Trigonometry, Integration, Differentiation and Vectors in
Complexity.



PS: The convo is partially made up, she’s actually quite Lovable…

I Love you, I'll Kill you

March 7, 2011

For the very first time they made their prolonged eye contact. He smiled and she smiled back, the affection, excitement and the gaze in their expanded corneas have dismantled with an unexpected brake of DMRC’s metro.


 As the female announcer announced the name of the station and other annoying repetitive lines, he pushed the other passengers’ to be on the platform facing her with a fake frustrating smile on his face, with an embarrassing two finger bye pose. Her eyes stalked him from the side big window of the metro as he slowly walks onto the stairs.
  
As the days passed, the distance between them was getting thinner. Every day they met in the same metro, on the same time and at the same place. The girl boarded up just a next station to his. They never had verbal connection, though.

After playing the hide and seek & shyness game for hefty 1 month, the guy finally asked her out for a coffee, She agreed. 

He asked her name, she remained quite...


  After 2 months.


  May 7, 2011

They both became very good friends, even more than friends actually. They’d share talks, food, drinks and so many other things. Over the time Girl started liking him as someone special in her life and so did the guy. She never did tell him her name, though....He accepted it in that manner.

Once they both got highly drunk and the girl uttered some hidden secrets about her, she told him that why she hasn’t told her name yet, only because she does not remember her actual name. She told him that she doesn't remember anything before last year July. She lost her parents, friends and other special people in her life in this gap of a year. She never figured it out how it had happened and when..?. He holds her hand and proposed her, while looking into her deep dark eyes followed by giving her assurance to make all the efforts to bring back her lost memory. She was overwhelmed with his efforts and the way he understood the whole scenario, tears rolled down from her cheeks, she grabbed him and accepted his proposal.

As they hugged each other, he simply whispered in her ears "I've got you, AGAIN, Anna..!" and smiled.....

 
Now, the Real story behind this Love Story... !



May 24, 2010
1:30 PM

Jay: Can i have two tablets of Anisomycin please...?

Kay: So you gonna meet her today...?

Jay: Yeah.

Kay: But why you cunt..?, she's a big time whore, I had told you on the very first day but you...

Jay: Let it be Kay.

Kay: OK, so why these two tablets...?.

Jay: Its an inhibitor of brain protein synthesis which......

Kay: balls to your fucking annoying biological terms Jay, come straight.

Jay: It effects on your memory. It's a cure for your haunting memories, lets make it more simpler "Complete Memory Loss".

Kay: WHAT...?, are you in your senses. what the fuck is in your mind. You’ve gone mad or what.....

Jay: Is there any other way to cope up with this Trauma, tell me

Kay: But..?

Jay: I want your support Kay not advice, this time please.




May 24, 2010
9:00 PM

Jay: Come on one more sniff, May be this would be your last one with me, please for our relations sake. 
Anna: Jay, stop being a frustrated emo guy, would you act normal, It's OVER already so no mind games. 
Jay: are you serious Anna, this time, yes i am. You mean there wouldn't be any way to get back with you ....
Anna: NO, what part of my statement you don't understand Jay. See Jay you are a very good person, but you do know about my mood and taste swings, can't help it.

Jay: 3 years Anna, it’s been fucking 3 years and you come up with this reckless statement, please Anna don't, please I am begging you.

Anna: Go fuck yourself, Looser. I'll never ever be with you again atleast in this life, you understand.

"He whispered: You will, if not, i'll make you to do that.."

Anna: & here' goes the final SNIFF, not that you requested me to do so, but for my liberty, this would be the sniff of my life and for your better future.

She fainted after 10 minutes of over excitement; Jay gave those pills to her........!

 

Now, what would you call it True Love, True Addiction or a Pure Fortitude..... 

;)

She was the GIRL, once...!

She was drop dead gorgeous, always smiling, counter attack specialist, her neurons flew faster than the speed of light, she had money and above all she knew every single bit of a species called GUYS. (Except me & Karan), I’m not flaunting but she actually didn’t.

 

Though, I hate her to the limits for no reason or may be for her over smartness, she’s the only girl in my circle with whom I didn’t share my number. My friend ‘Hell boy’as I call him (reciprocal of the name KARAN is NARAK, narak means Hell so …I gave it to him) was after her.

 

She had tons of money, she wore Jimmy Choo and Aldo in a time when we guys vigorously flaunted our Action and Campus pairs. Her white SUV (Safari) had the 16 channel stereo system. Her dad was a broker or something like that, a big fat fish in the ocean of trading.

 

Karan, a guy with superb brains a masculine built, third most infamous Casanova in our PATHSHALA. I always wondered why the hell this Chutiya was after her. I was standing next to her in Mojo, a well known pub in DLF City Centre, Mehrauli- Gurgaon Road & he proposed her, & she agreed. She now had all the necessary things in personal or professional life to be happy each and every minute.

 

She had the best guy, best car, best friends and above all the most annoying enemy in the form of Kabir. The only thing which I adored in her personality was, she never flaunted. In short “Porsche GT Carrera 911 never shouts….it seems.

 

Time changed so did the GIRL and her attitude. She became more dominating and my poor friend became more DECENT. A guy who never cared about the timings and other shit when we guys roamed, drank, smoked Joints, and Senty talks, suddenly changed into Moma’s or you can say Gf’s well cultured, decent Kid. She dominated him as hell, she made him what he hated to be once. We guys started calling him a Well Trained Dog.

 

Now, She Owned Karan, She Owned Money.
& I, I was moved on from the shit.


 

3 years later, Today

 

She’s now working in some multinational company in US to live her luxurious livelihood, a girl who used to throw sarcasm, who never spoke sweetly to any darn one, is now interacting with n number of different people for no reason with a pleasing smile and unwanted formalities and sugarcoated talks. She’s become a PR. Now, she flaunts everything ! and it varies from her Cell phone to her new branded bra. Money controls her profession and the way she lives. Today, the money she owned once, owns her.

 

Karan, finally gave up and left her. A girl who never really cared about her guy in a decent way , who never listened to him, despite of having a mammoth friend circle she never introduced him to her friends except a few, is now cribbing for him every single guy, she cries, she yells and sometime she behaves like BTM’s (Behanzi Turn Modern). She actually FLAUNTS about the number of guys that are after her, Karan is still in touch with her but in some other way, HE made her a Long distance slave. Today, He owns her, her emotions, her lifestyle.

 

Despite of having so many guys and becoming a self proclaimed hot cake in her office, she’s alone. All alone except for some of her Imaginary friends, may be.



There’s a quote from one of my all time favorite film David Fincher’s Fight Club, “The things you own end up owning you.”


& yes, It truly does.

PS: Though, my hatred is still intact. I really wish things will go simpler to her. She was cute actually.

PPS: In the fond memory of “SHE”

Woman: Beyond your Imagination...

What is the first thing that come into your mind when I say "Woman"..?. I chuckled and he landed up saying the worst ever quote “A source of getting a  couple of seconds of orgasm”.  I was like….. SHIT. For a moment I felt like bashing up his head with the scotch bottle, lying in front of me.


Most of us guys are bastards, without any single doubt and I don’t feel ashamed of saying it because we are born with this instinct only.


What do you think about a woman?


A lil cute homo sapien engulfed totally in pink attire, who loves eating bunny shaped chocolate and drool over clean shaved macho man.

A fool who cries over stupid little idiotic things.

A tool which has the capability to screw the nut bolts of your so called cold heart.

A reason behind the entire massacre that took place in the past.

A skilled artist who knows how to spend your money without guilt.

A better competitor than a guy who knows how to grab opportunities, before you do.


 NO…..


She’s faaaaaar better than guys and I don’t need a reason to explain why? Just close your eyes and think, think till your brain has forced your heart to accept the truth, the ugliest truth. Like I did.



I wrote all these annotations with all the perspective of a typical male chauvinist Indian guy, no offense. I hope you’re not of them, but sadly I am one of them. I agree on the first and the last remark of mine.



Its 3:30 AM in the morning and that quote and its author are just stuck in my mind and all I want right now is a loud speaker and a microphone so that I can yell out aloud; "Chutiye that’s the reason why you are always cribbing for one single girl in front of me every single time we meet".


One advice for you for your good PERSONAL life, my liquor friend,

Respect her value
Admire her beauty


As she be a caring mother, a loving spouse, a beautiful daughter, a naughty sister and a savior grandmother


Some of you may deny this and some might get offended by the time you finish this, keep living in denial. But as a non required adviser I suggest one thing for you, change the way you look at a woman or else…


“Your hand lines will soon gonna disappear and get carved at some other place”. Get that; and if not good for you and if you actually get the message behind this line copy it and paste it in your life as per your convince


Though they must be a little crazy species in some areas of life, I whole heartedly respect them.

PS: Beside the above mentioned incident someone ask me to write some good stuff about girls,and here; I did 

I don’t have a Blackberry, but life YES…..

"Guy’s and Girls who own Blackberry, Android, Iphone, Galaxy or some other high end cell phones and in the age group of 16 to 25 please don’t go through it….."

Caution: content may lead you to write Sh*t about me, as it always does…. ;)

“Tell me your BB Pin…” asked by a random girl on Facebook. “ I use Nokia 1600” I replied. “Lol jeeta kaise hai tu….(Lol, how can you live…?) ” She wrote. “I breathe, eat, drink, socialize, plays Video Games, Soccer and sometime Parkour (free running), I have real life friends with whom I roam around to every other corner of the country, have at least 6 full time head turner girls, and a respected designation at my work place…..what else I want”……….Tu kaise jeeti hai….( how can you LIVE),” I literally backfired. Speechless she was and left……..

Just look at her statement “Lol jeeta kaise hai tu….” Clearly shows that her life revolves around her 3 inch BB screen, BBM and some inbuilt useless non required apps.

I wonder what exactly is the need of buying a high end cell phone, who the hell are you CEO of a multibillion empire, who needs to be online 365x24x7 so that all the known CEO’s of multinational companies get in touch with you OR are you some kind of a vendor providing all sort of service on any given day and time OR you don’t know when your psychotic boss demands you to come on video conference call? 

NO, so who, I mean who are you…..!

Nothing but a “Flasher”….. =))

I have seen a lot of people sitting in front of their desktop or laptop updating their  facebook status via “Blackberry”….Yeah so that some 800 OMMPH chicks get to know -Wowwww he has a BB- …..means he spent some 10K just for be into so called mainstream of the Dudes and Dudettes….. :P

Lamest excuse for buying a high end phone,

I can listen to so many songs and my friend said the audio quality of BB is classy….

Errr….. chutiyeee, buy an Apple Ipod instead naaa..Spend 6k you’ll get touch screen with 8 GB memory and as far as the sound quality,  Apple is second to none.

One more super lamest excuse,

My Mobile phone has the best-est camera quality 5 megapixels…. :|
The irony is, most of the people don’t even know what exactly megapixel is all about, but all they do know is -greater the number of megapixels the better the camera quality would be-

I Appreciate It…. =)). You waste more than 20k for it…not worth…..spend 10k and get a new Sony 12 Megapixel one… :P

My point being, phone is meant for receiving, dialing and cutting the calls and in the worst situation, texting…… I have never owned a high end phone yet reason being, I don’t need one. If you can avail the basic necessary features in 1000 bucks with a FM embedded in it, a flash light and moreover a 5 day long battery.

To be very true, handling a high end phone is more complicated then handling a girl. If you lose your girl you might have chance to be with her again but Cell Phones…….

Your cell is allergic to water, your girl isn’t -well in most of the cases-…. :P

In the end I am going to state a self made quote…. ;)

“High-end cell phones are the latest invention in killing your expensive time which values more than the money you spend on buying it” ~ KB

PS: No matter what, I love my Nokia 1600…. =))